The Doctor (
finally_ginger) wrote2014-12-28 09:50 pm
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An Unexpected Reunion (with
captainspain)
Even Time Lords can suffer from exhaustion.
Or so it would seem.
The Doctor felt as if she'd be laying in the same spot in the console room for days. She probably had.
It all had started out as a regular refuel in Cardiff. The Doctor had popped out long enough to fetch a bottle of pop and a banana-- which, strangely, had recently become her new thing-- and suddenly, she ended up face-to-face with Kate Stewart and a few members of UNIT.
It was always nice to see Kate, the daughter of one of her oldest friends, but sadly, she'd known, just as the first meeting, it was not a social call. During their first meeting, not only had she discovered that The Brigadeer had passed away, but Kate had stolen Jack Harkness's vortex manipulator right out from under his nose. A rogue member of her team had then taken it and started wreaking havoc. The Doctor had had to stop the man, and after a lengthy argument with her friend's only child, she'd taken the vortex manipulator herself. It was bad enough Jack had been cavorting around with that technology, but leaving it in possession of UNIT would have been a huge mistake. It wasn't that she didn't trust Kate with such a sensitive piece of equipment, she didn't trust anyone else.
Apparently Kate was still angry with her, and felt The Doctor owed her something, which is why she came to her, asking for help. There were three Sontarans running about, making utter fools of themselves, and they proved utterly nasty when meeting The Doctor in her new form. Of course, they were automatically more superior, simply because she was female, but in the end, she had bested them, as usual, and sent them on their way.
The battle had worn The Doctor out, and she had a few cuts and scrapes to show for it, including one under her eye. But she knew she'd be just fine. She always was.
She let out a sigh as she sat up, and nodded, to the only company she ever allowed herself to have.
"I know, old girl. Time for us to be moving on." She moved to stand. "But first... I've got to get myself another bottle of pop."
The Tardis started arguing with her in her head, and The Doctor rolled her eyes. "Oi! Don't jinx me! Just because I was interrupted last time doesn't mean it'll happen again! Do shut up, will you?"
She shook her head, backing her way out of her Tardis, making sure to lock up on her way out.
Or so it would seem.
The Doctor felt as if she'd be laying in the same spot in the console room for days. She probably had.
It all had started out as a regular refuel in Cardiff. The Doctor had popped out long enough to fetch a bottle of pop and a banana-- which, strangely, had recently become her new thing-- and suddenly, she ended up face-to-face with Kate Stewart and a few members of UNIT.
It was always nice to see Kate, the daughter of one of her oldest friends, but sadly, she'd known, just as the first meeting, it was not a social call. During their first meeting, not only had she discovered that The Brigadeer had passed away, but Kate had stolen Jack Harkness's vortex manipulator right out from under his nose. A rogue member of her team had then taken it and started wreaking havoc. The Doctor had had to stop the man, and after a lengthy argument with her friend's only child, she'd taken the vortex manipulator herself. It was bad enough Jack had been cavorting around with that technology, but leaving it in possession of UNIT would have been a huge mistake. It wasn't that she didn't trust Kate with such a sensitive piece of equipment, she didn't trust anyone else.
Apparently Kate was still angry with her, and felt The Doctor owed her something, which is why she came to her, asking for help. There were three Sontarans running about, making utter fools of themselves, and they proved utterly nasty when meeting The Doctor in her new form. Of course, they were automatically more superior, simply because she was female, but in the end, she had bested them, as usual, and sent them on their way.
The battle had worn The Doctor out, and she had a few cuts and scrapes to show for it, including one under her eye. But she knew she'd be just fine. She always was.
She let out a sigh as she sat up, and nodded, to the only company she ever allowed herself to have.
"I know, old girl. Time for us to be moving on." She moved to stand. "But first... I've got to get myself another bottle of pop."
The Tardis started arguing with her in her head, and The Doctor rolled her eyes. "Oi! Don't jinx me! Just because I was interrupted last time doesn't mean it'll happen again! Do shut up, will you?"
She shook her head, backing her way out of her Tardis, making sure to lock up on her way out.
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He'd manged to track it to the TARDIS in between dealing with Sontarans and his CIA shadow Rex. He'd been about to knock on the TARDIS door when he was bumped by a familar body. "Oh damm," he muttered assuming he'd been about to muck up the timeline.
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"What the--" She stopped abruptly when she looked up and saw who it was. She swallowed hard. "Bloody hell..."
Talk about a sight for sore eyes. She hadn't expected running into Jack Harkness in a million years. He somehow looked more dashing than usual. Not to mention handsome...
She scolded herself inwardly for her thoughts. This is Jack, she reminded herself. My friend. My good, ruggedly handsome, flirt-with-anyone-even-your-grandmother, friend.
She cleared her throat.
"Ahh... Hello, Captain. Long time, no see." She managed a smile.
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Jack blinks completely startled for a second. He'd been expecting a Donna Noble who didn't know him or one who hadn't met him yet. This...well this was like Christmas come early. "Donna," he said warmly, "you remember me?" The question is soft and slightly hopeful, because after everything with the Miracle and Esther Jack felt he was owed something good for a change.
And Donna Noble with her memories back is good indeed. "When did this happen?"
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She took a deep breath, and shook her head slowly.
"Jack..." She says his name softly, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not Donna..."
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For a moment Jack didn't speak as the words sunk in. Then his face fell as he realized what was going on. "Doctor...where the hell have you been?" There is no anger behind the words just sadness. All the people who could have been saved, Vera..Esther.
They could still be alive right now..if the Doctor had helped.
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"I've been on a bit of a... Self-imposed exile, I suppose you could say, since... My regeneration." The words are strangely difficult for her to say. "Been trying to hide. From everyone. Even from myself, I suppose."
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"You went into hiding..you," Jack says with a soft but harsh laugh, "the world stops dying and you are hiding no wonder Kate was angry...and why she stole my vortex manipulatior. She must have known I had a way to track you."
He shook his head. "She should've just asked...."
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"I hid... I've been hiding... Because you're all better off without me, Jack." And that was honestly what she believed. That, and she was riddled with guilt, plagued with regrets and shame. And she literally wore her guilt, every day, in the form of her best friend.
"I wasn't expecting to meet Kate. I just sort of... Ran into her." She continued. "And somehow, she knew. She knew, because this big blue box gave me away. She told me she took that damned thing from you because she felt only UNIT should possess that sort of technology. And well... You know how I feel about it, how many times I've shut the bloody thing off."
It was easy to see he was angry with her. Just another reason to go back to hiding.
"Now, if you're here for your stupid vortex manipulator, I'll be more than happy to give it to you and be on my way. I've already been here too long... You don't need me, hovering around, mucking your life up."
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Jack stared the Doctor down his normally sparkling blue eyes like chips of ice. "You actually believe we don't need you anymore," he snaps, "that is the biggest line of....crap that I have every heard. Look I don't know what happened to turn you into a coward but it ends right now. The Earth needs you Doctor, it needed you six months ago when a group of people decided to use my blood and an alien wall to keep people from dying.
It needed you to knock some sense into it when they started deciding how dead a person was and burning the worse cases alive in ovens Hitler would have been proud of. All of which Gwen and I ended cleaning up...while I was mortal by the way. Oh and lets not forget the 456 shall we? That lovely event I had to clean up too, which you decided to miss I guess."
Jack had no idea why his years of hidden rage and pain were bubbling up now but he wasn't about to stop and think while he was on a roll. "You and I don't get to hide Doctor remember, we are the monsters, the saviors, the ones who do the things people like UNIT can't so either turn your back on us completely or woman up and make Donna Noble proud as hell you are wearing her face."
He held out his hand asking for his manipulator without words since he had more to say on other subjects. "I'm tired too, believe me I am damm tired but since it seems to be my job to be companion support group leader I have to say what most of us are thinking when you pull this again and again. And I am done being nice about it, no more patient, kind little solider...I am going to say what I think and fuck what your reaction is. You are a Time Lord, start acting like it."
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"Do you think I don't care, Jack? Is that it? I do... And maybe that's my problem. I care too bloody much!" Tears threatened, but she forced herself to keep talking. "You know as well as I do what comes with me. What comes with knowing, being my friend. Bring involved with me whatsoever. You should know better than anyone. They get turned immortal and their lives are ruined. They get trapped in universes that are not their own with a replacement they never asked for. They tear themselves down emotionally to help me fight a fight that wasn't even theirs to begin with. They have to have the best two years of their lives ripped out of their heads to keep them from exploding. Or worse yet... They die. So many of them... Die, fighting, in my name. Like you. How many times have you died because of me, Jack?"
The tears had begun to flow freely at that point.
"I've been traveling alone since that night. The night I said goodbye. And my regeneration just... Set it in stone. I stay away, to protect you lot, because everything I touch falls apart! I go from place to place, helping who I can. That hasn't changed. Never will. "
She sniffled, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out the vortex manipulator, and placed it in his hand.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, Jack. You're right. I just hopped in my little blue box and ran away, just like I always do. But I thought I was protecting you. All of you." She looked down. "I've done a lot of good, yeah... But there has been so much bad. So much suffering... And it's been my fault, in the long run. So please... Don't think for a minute that I don't care."
She wiped at her eyes, and then cursed herself quietly. "Damn female emotions."
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Jack was torn between staying mad and laughing this whole situation was just a little too weird even for him. He does take a moment to let himself cool down though trying to see things from the Doctor's perspective. "We choose to fight in your name Doctor never forget that," he says gently, "I die over and over again because you made me better. Without you I would have just been a failed con man wandering through time getting into trouble.
Martha, Donna, Sarah Jane, Jo, the Brig all of us we want to help you, it just hurts that you never seem to see that. Once we leave the TARDIS you turn your back and we have to pick up the pieces you leave behind. I've been trying to help but it's hard because now I'm meeting people you haven't even met yet but who still are affected by you."
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"Do you know how many times I've actually watched you die, Jack?" She asked him softly, quietly. "Hundreds. Maybe more. And I know you've died even more than that when I haven't been around to see. You've any idea what that does to me? It's like a knife, twisting in my hearts. And it's my fault you're this way. You die not just in my name, but, practically, by my hand, too."
She goes against her gut instinct, and reaches up, gently touching his cheek. "Do you understand now, Jack? Do you understand why I leave? I'm not trying to be selfish. I leave for your sake.... For the sake of all of you. I also leave so I don't see you suffer because of me. And.... Because.. I know that... Some of you can have a normal life after me. I mean... Look at Sarah Jane. She has a child. Martha and Mickey... They got married. You... You're probably the only exception. I really made a mess ofyour life, didn't I?" She gave a watery laugh. "I'm sorry, Jack."
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"You didn't make a mess of my life Doctor," Jack said, "I made a mess of it. I tried to do things the slow way..I tried to settle and fall in love. But I couldn't.....because I'd fallen in love with you from the moment we met. The TARDIS knew it too. Why do you think out of everyone she chose me for immortality. She could have made Rose immortal too, or given her immortality and let me die.
She knew I couldn't live without you so she made you a companion who couldn't leave or age or die. Someone special just for you. I've been trying for centuries to get you to see that but you never do. So I gave up...got married, had children but I couldn't forget you Doctor. I even let the Master make me a toy just so your plan would work...and all because it was how I could show you I cared."
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But now, in this new body, as a Time Lady instead of a Lord, her feelings, her attraction, seemed to be so much stronger. She'd discovered almost immediately that her longing for Rose was amplified, as were her feeling of guilt and regret. And now, seeing Jack, being in his presence, having talked to him... She realized she was more attracted to him now than she had been in the first place.
But even so, she still couldn't help but feel she'd ruined his life. He'd been cursed, all for loving her, and being her friend. Just like Rose, although in a different way.
Her hand dropped, over his heart, his one human heart, one that had been changed forever, by the vortex, a Time Lord-turned-Lady, and one determined little blonde.
"Jack... You don't know what you're saying. The meaning of those, saying those words to me..." She looked up at him, shaking her head. "It's like you're asking to be cursed." Because that's what her love was-- a curse. "You're a bloody fool, Jack. You're a fool for loving me. It's brought you nothing but pain."
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Jack smiles and shakes his he. "Doctor I know exactly what I'm saying, believe me I've had a few centuties to think about all this and I know my own heart. I love you and Rose in a way I've never loved anyone else. I would willingly go to the ends of the Earth for you both and have. I don't see my life as a curse and I never have."
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Jack Harkness was in love with her. Wanted to travel with her again... And this time, it sounded like he wanted to stay with her until the end of eternity, which, in Time Lord standards, never truly ended. And he'd loved Rose, too. She'd always suspected as much, but hearing him say the words made it real. At least they had an understanding there, because The Doctor knew that one of her hearts would always belong to that beautiful, brave little blonde.
He'd came to her, angry about her going into hiding, but she knew he was hurt even more because he loved her, and he felt she'd abandoned him. And she had, in a sense. She felt so conflicted, debating her choices, debating what he was offering her. Her head felt like it was spinning, and she felt a bit weak in the knees. She hadn't felt like this since the first time Rose had kissed her, really kissed her, in her last regeneration.
"Oi, Captain," she finally said, forcing a bit of humor into her voice. "Think you've made one of the old tickers stop. Think I need to sit down." She pointed down the street to the little shop she was originally headed to, with a bit of a shaking hand. "Was going for a pop and banana. Care to join me and we'll... Discuss this a bit more?"
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Jack smiles his best sheepish grin' the one that says he knows what he did and isn't sorry about it at all. "I wouldn't mind a coffee and more of a chat myself. It's been a dark few months for me what with the Brig gone and dealing with the CIA..long story."
He offers her his arm. " Shall we?"
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There was comfortable silence for a few minutes, as they walked along. Finally, she stopped in her tracks outside the shop and gave him a look.
"CIA? Oi, what in the hell have you gotten yourself into now, Captain?"
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Jack looked a little uncomfortable. "Well durning the Miracle I ran into a very peristant agent and may have unwittingly passed on my inmortality."
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She could tell automatically what a sensitive subject it was, and opted not to push him on it too much. He would spill his guts eventually, as he always did.
Upon going in, she flashed her psychic paper at the young girl behind the counter, and as always, the sweet girl put it on The Doctor's "tab", so to speak. Not that she'd every really pay for it, as much as she'd hate to admit.
They sat, for some time, and as she had her pop and banana, Jack did exactly as she expected-- he spilled. About everything. And once again, he had her in tears, and without realizing, she'd ended up reaching for and holding his hand for what seemed to be the longest time. It was against her better judgment, but her hearts wouldn't allow her to let go until they departed from the little shop.
They walked in silence back toward her Tardis, and she held tight to his arm.
Finally, she gathered the courage to speak again. She knew he didn't hate her, even though she had abandoned him. But, to honest, she worried about his reaction to what she was about to say. All she could do was hope for the best.
"Jack... You do realize how different things are now, yeah? I'm not... I'm not who I used to be."
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Jack was amazed at how open he was so quickly, but this was the Doctor and hiding things from the Time Lord had never been an option. It felt good in a way to open up about the past few years, both the good and the bad. As they walked back to the TARDIS he was reminded of the old days and how much he missed them.
Her question shook him out of his mental review and he smiled sadly knowing what was coming. " I know Doctor, you don't have to explain."
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She knew in her hearts, more than anything, that she wanted this, she wanted him by her side, just like old times. But she was wondering if she could really allow herself to be that selfish. And if she did, where would things go? Things would be really different now-- because this time she knew he loved her, and she knew she was overwhelmingly attracted to him. Would she eventually succumb to his charms? She wouldn't want to ruin their friendship because of raging hormones. It was a lot to think about.
"I promise I won't abandon you again, Jack." She made sure to reassure him, in a soft voice.
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"I would like to again point out I'm over a 1,000 and a century. But if you want me to take more time to think Doctor then that's what I'll do," Jack says trying to not let hope thread his voice. He's learned it's not good to hope for things. "Just promise me you'll come back...please. I'll give you another century or however long you want, I just need to know you'll come back."
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Then she got serious again. "I promise. I'll be back. And it won't be a century. I swear." She paused a moment, thinking, and then reached for his wrist. "Here... I'll leave you with a bit of a parting gift."
She retrieved her sonic screwdriver from her pocket, and aimed it on his vortex manipulator, fiddling with the controls a bit.
"I'm adjusting the calibrations and the sensor just a bit. When I return to this time, this place, the manipulator's controls will glow a bright blue, and it Will make a bit of a... ding noise a few times. Bit like an oven when the turkey's done." She looked down at her handiwork, returning the sonic into her pocket. "And if you're not in close proximity, it'll bring you right to the Tardis."
It was a bit out of her usual practice when it came to that damned manipulator, but if it put him at ease, it was worth it.
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Jack smiles. "I'd rather the teleport work but I've learned not to fight you on that and I'll take my rewards as they come." He leans forward a bit and kisses the Doctor's cheek warmly. "Don't stay away too long yeah. I like that you're ginger."
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She kissed his cheek back, and then slipped away from him a bit reluctantly to stand by the Tardis doors.
"I promise... I'll be back soon." Her face turned up into a big, beautiful smile, probably the truest she'd had in ages. "And you know what? I do, too."
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"Is that actually possible," Jack asks then shakes his head, "no wait don't tell me or I won't be able to stop thinking about trying it." He smiles. "So I won't say goodbye then, just see you soon Doc."
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