His words cut her to the core, but in some ways, she knew he was right. And she was suddenly angry, at herself, at him, at the whole universe.
"Do you think I don't care, Jack? Is that it? I do... And maybe that's my problem. I care too bloody much!" Tears threatened, but she forced herself to keep talking. "You know as well as I do what comes with me. What comes with knowing, being my friend. Bring involved with me whatsoever. You should know better than anyone. They get turned immortal and their lives are ruined. They get trapped in universes that are not their own with a replacement they never asked for. They tear themselves down emotionally to help me fight a fight that wasn't even theirs to begin with. They have to have the best two years of their lives ripped out of their heads to keep them from exploding. Or worse yet... They die. So many of them... Die, fighting, in my name. Like you. How many times have you died because of me, Jack?"
The tears had begun to flow freely at that point.
"I've been traveling alone since that night. The night I said goodbye. And my regeneration just... Set it in stone. I stay away, to protect you lot, because everything I touch falls apart! I go from place to place, helping who I can. That hasn't changed. Never will. "
She sniffled, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out the vortex manipulator, and placed it in his hand.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, Jack. You're right. I just hopped in my little blue box and ran away, just like I always do. But I thought I was protecting you. All of you." She looked down. "I've done a lot of good, yeah... But there has been so much bad. So much suffering... And it's been my fault, in the long run. So please... Don't think for a minute that I don't care."
She wiped at her eyes, and then cursed herself quietly. "Damn female emotions."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-12-30 07:54 pm (UTC)"Do you think I don't care, Jack? Is that it? I do... And maybe that's my problem. I care too bloody much!" Tears threatened, but she forced herself to keep talking. "You know as well as I do what comes with me. What comes with knowing, being my friend. Bring involved with me whatsoever. You should know better than anyone. They get turned immortal and their lives are ruined. They get trapped in universes that are not their own with a replacement they never asked for. They tear themselves down emotionally to help me fight a fight that wasn't even theirs to begin with. They have to have the best two years of their lives ripped out of their heads to keep them from exploding. Or worse yet... They die. So many of them... Die, fighting, in my name. Like you. How many times have you died because of me, Jack?"
The tears had begun to flow freely at that point.
"I've been traveling alone since that night. The night I said goodbye. And my regeneration just... Set it in stone. I stay away, to protect you lot, because everything I touch falls apart! I go from place to place, helping who I can. That hasn't changed. Never will. "
She sniffled, and reached into her pocket. She pulled out the vortex manipulator, and placed it in his hand.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, Jack. You're right. I just hopped in my little blue box and ran away, just like I always do. But I thought I was protecting you. All of you." She looked down. "I've done a lot of good, yeah... But there has been so much bad. So much suffering... And it's been my fault, in the long run. So please... Don't think for a minute that I don't care."
She wiped at her eyes, and then cursed herself quietly. "Damn female emotions."